


NO, Harry, Do NOT Flirt With the Lamp

by goldencursive



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drunk Harry, Drunk Texting, Established Relationship, Fluff, Jealous Draco, M/M, One Shot, Self-Indulgent, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:27:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23516923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldencursive/pseuds/goldencursive
Summary: Harry's drunk, so he texts the first person on his contacts list to pick him up.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 9
Kudos: 294





	NO, Harry, Do NOT Flirt With the Lamp

**Author's Note:**

> Harry’s texts are bold  
> Draco’s texts are normal

**Draco**

What do you want, Potter

**Com**

What?

**Come**

**Pik me up**

Why 

**Im so druck**

**Plz come**

**I cant aparate**

**Coz im so druck**

Wtf, Potter

**Thers a guy tring to kiss me**

**Help**

I’m all the way across London, Potter. What do you want me to do?

**Come heeeer**

**Oh he just smackd my butt**

**He sys my but is jiggly**

**I thinks hes sayin my butt is fat**

**Draco hes insultng me**

**He kissed on me**

**It hurt**

**He tases like beer**

**I dont like it**

Where are you

**The lonely corner**

Merlin, Potter, why would you go there?

You have a boyfriend

**Really?**

Yes, you idiot. I’m at the bar, where are you

Never mind, I see you

<><><><><>

Draco pocketed his phone and slid up to the bar, where Harry and a greasy blond man was sitting. Draco put a protective arm around Harry and squeezed. “Hey.”

“Draco! You’re here. Here. With me.” Harry turned his head to Draco’s chest and inhaled, giggling.

“Who the hell do you think you are?”

Draco met the glare thrown his way with a cool stare. “The boyfriend of the guy you’re trying to hit on.”

Harry lifted his head and gazed confusedly at Draco. “Boyfriend?”

Draco smirked, rolling his eyes. “Harry, love, we’ve been dating for three years now.”

“Three years? Boyfriend? The fuck, mate? You let me kiss you when you already had a boyfriend?” The blonde looked panicked, but Draco couldn’t be sympathetic. The guy _had_ kissed his boyfriend.

“From what I heard, _you_ kissed _him_. And Harry’s drunk; _you’re_ absolutely sober.” Draco looked down at Harry, who had started making little puffing sounds, like he was falling asleep, then back up at the man. “You better be glad I have to take him home; otherwise I'd hex you into oblivion for touching him." Not bothering to wait for a response, Draco takes Harry and Apparates away.

<><><><><>

*At home*

Draco waved his wand, bathing the foyer in the warm yellow light of the lumos.

Harry looked around the room blearily, eyes latching onto the lamp. “Are you the sun? Cuz you light up my life.”

Draco sighed, shaking his head. “NO, Harry, do NOT flirt with the lamp.” Harry pouted, and Draco shook his head again. “Come on, let’s get you clean.”

They made their way to the small bathroom, and Draco started stripping Harry of his clothes. Once he was fully naked, Draco helped him into the shower.

Harry gazed at his boyfriend through half-lidded eyes, trying, and failing, to look seductive. “Wanna join me?”

Draco smirked, focusing on cleaning the drunk man. “I am not taking advantage of you when you’re drunk.”

“What if I want you to take advantage of me?”

“You’re drunk, sweaty, and you reek of booze, Potter.”

Harry pouted, and Draco relented. “Maybe in the morning, when you’re sober.”

Harry visibly brightens, looking like a child promised candy. “Ok!”

<><><><><>

*Later in bed*

“Draco?”

“Go to sleep love, it’s almost two o’clock.”

“I love you.”

Draco smiled softly. “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr](https://goldencursive.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
